His Christmas Star by Katie Mettner

Author:Katie Mettner
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Katie Mettner
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. We’d been in bed together for hours, and thankfully, Joe had been sleeping the entire time. Last night, I let him shower first and sent him to bed, just praying he’d be asleep by the time I climbed in. He was, but I hadn’t slept yet. I had so many emotions running through me, but regret was the biggest. I thought I had more time before he found out the truth, and I regretted that our time together was going to end so quickly. I had twenty-seven years to get used to the way I looked, and even I wasn’t a fan. There was no way he would be. The ache in my toe reminded me that I needed to take better care of my feet, but the last thing I wanted to do was add doctor’s appointments to my plate. Maybe once the new year rolled around, I’d take a trip to Duluth, but for now, I’d have to get by the best I could.

An arm came around me, and he nuzzled my shoulder. “You’re warm.”

“You’re awake.”

“Can’t sleep. Too many thoughts in my head.”

“I remember those days.” My mind’s eye went to the letter hidden in my dresser drawer. Should I give it to him tonight? Part of me said yes, give it to him so he can deal with everything at once. The other part of me said no. Wait until he’s had a few days to get over the initial shock before you put more on him. Daddy Nash said to give it to him at the right time, but this didn’t feel like the right time.

“How did you get through them?”

“Distractions. The ranch and grandma. School. Whatever I could do to keep busy.”

“I was afraid you were going to say that,” he answered with a chuckle. “Part of me thinks I’ve done a lot of the early grieving already. Maybe I’m just trying to justify why I don’t feel as sad as I should.”

“Or why you feel relieved?” I asked. He didn’t answer. He just buried his nose in my neck and let out a sigh. “It’s okay to feel relieved, Joe. You lost the man you knew years ago. That’s just the truth.”

“It helps to hear you say that because that’s exactly how I feel. I know I should be sad, and I am, but I’m also relieved that Daddy isn’t living that way anymore. You know he hated relying on anyone, and that’s all he could do there. He depended on someone else for everything.”

“I think that’s what was slowly killing him,” I admitted. “It was stealing the spirit of the man he used to be.”

“You just nailed the feeling I have about it. He’s gone, but also, he’s happy again. It’s hard to be sad when that’s the case. Do I still have regrets? Absolutely. But I can’t be sad that he’s no longer suffering.”

I stroked his cheek to let him know I was there for him and I understood.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.